• Pam Del Franco aka ASK NANNA

Are you being “too Spiritual” when it comes to relationships?

There are inherent problems when being too “spiritual” in a relationship. It’s easier to look beyond the actual problems because you want to take the high road. Been there, done that, too many times.


He says:


“I’m just not ready to settle down, can’t we keep it the way it is?” (he likes being with you and doesn’t see a reason to break up. That’s not the same as wanting to commit.)


You answer something like:


“That’s true, we do get along. I understand.” (You feel disappointed. Later, you ask yourself, where did that come from, that’s not what I want?)


You actively practice love as best as you can, you usually have a smile on your face, and you’re willing to help others. You know how the Universe works within the law of reciprocity, so you’re convinced, in time, he’ll come around.


In your successful business, those ideals help you set the goals needed to clear the path to reach your monthly projections. You visualize, create goals, implement tasks all while doing your daily spiritual practices.


So why doesn’t that work as well with your partner at home?


It’s because your emotional investment is different.


With your business, you wanted to succeed, so you applied the vision board idea (maybe it was a graph showing projections and how to get there.) Your meditation practice helped maintain calm leadership during rough times. And the love you embrace equals the passion you have for what you do for your clients.


But a business doesn’t require the same depth of intimacy.


Relationships need you to bare your soul, trusting the other person to handle it gently. Vs. in business, teammates follow your lead, and if you put trust in the wrong person, you can let them go without a ton of emotional consequence).


Your spiritual practices of love, understanding, and the like, are not enough to sustain a relationship. (I tried that for a long time and couldn’t understand why the Universe didn’t ‘reward’ me.)


It’s a lovely jumping-off point. The world needs more conscious people. But sensible thinking needs to be part of it.


In a relationship, when you don’t allow your God-given reason to work alongside your spiritual practice, it creates unnecessary conflict.


So, if he says:


“I’m not looking for a commitment,” hear what he’s saying.


You may want more from him, so you push your upset feelings aside and wait for a sign from the Universe. Or you feel your higher power is telling you to be more patient, so you put your faith in that book you read, or your daily affirmations and the vision board you made.


All of those things are sacred, but they only work if you apply reason along with it. Because without reason, your mind can easily trick you into misinterpreting what you thought was a “message from above.”


Few people can operate solely on faith. Even cultural icons that caused a huge shift in our faith still applied some level of reason to what they did to make those shifts. Against the odds, they moved through the streets calling forth their faith in the change that needed to happen, but what we don’t see in the background is the logical course of actions behind that. They had to choose the street, the date and who’s going to join. They had to recognize the opposition and how to respond so they could be prepared. They had a clear intention of where they were going and took logical action that carried their faith there. (You can reverse that too, their faith helped them make the reasonable steps to get there).


In a relationship, you can have faith that it will work, and you can do things that make sense to you to help that. But you can get thrown off when one past hurtful event that’s not resolved keeps getting in the way. It’s not necessarily a past hurt you forgot. But it will be something that you don’t realize is directly affecting your relationships. That’s where you apply your mind to work with your faith.


Once you take steps to make those distinctions, you’ll be able to create more harmonious relationships (particularly the one you have with yourself.)