Why you’re so good at your business but have lousy relationships?
If you’re asking the question, it’s quite likely that you’ve had crappy relationships in the past, and maybe you’re in one now. But you’re not ready to give up on it – you just want to understand why so you can make it work.
When you make a business decision, there’s a strong possibility that you’re able to separate your business and personal feelings just enough to make the best choice. After all, that quality is the one of the things that got you to that position in the first place.
The determination and drive it took for you to create your success was partly due to being able to separate it on some level to your personal life. That’s what we’re trained to do – not enmesh ourselves with our clients but keep a professional distance.
But when you get home, and your partner says something or does something to p..s you off, all of that business discernment goes down the tubes. You find yourself becoming irrational, argumentative, withdrawn, or compliant.
How the heck did that happen? You’re not Jekyll and Hyde, so how did you go from being this empowered woman in business to flailing in your relationship?
Because for most of us, intimate relationships cannot be kept at arm’s length. We are in it for the purpose of real intimacy, and we want to share our lives with this person.
I love that sentence I heard in a movie when a character is sitting at the bar and says something about your life being witnessed by another person.
You will be noticed.
What the other person allows is for us to notice what needs to be healed within us.
Many of us remember painful events from our past but don’t think it has much to do with our current relationship. We don’t see the thread until someone points it out. Once you see, you'll be able to heal that.