• Pam Del Franco aka ASK NANNA

Your eyes meet across the room.

You’re single and out with your girlfriends for a fun night, and you notice him from across the room. Literally, your eyes meet, and you’re drawn in only to discover soon after dating that he’s a jerk.

What happened? It felt like destiny. Well, perhaps it was but not for the reason you think.

Mostly what happened is that you resonated with an old frequency that is still running in your unconscious mind. That’s the one that called you across the room.

It’s not all hidden. You can remember when (*your mother left, or your parents divorced, or your ex-boyfriend was emotionally abusive). It caused feelings of loneliness, abandonment, low self-worth, or another negative association. But you think that was in the past and you’ve dealt with it. You read books, listen to podcasts, and maybe tried some holistic healing methods. (I had done them all and more). But you’re dating yet another jerk, and that’s your feedback letting you know that you’re not fully healed. You may have dealt with aspects of the past experience. However, there’s still something that needs resolution because it’s that something that’s finding its way into your new relationships.

Resonating doesn’t always take place on a conscious level, nor does it always mean it’s entirely unconscious. It’s somewhere in the murky middle, and it levels up when confronted by someone you want to have a relationship with. It says heck no, and like a two-year-old having a tantrum, all hell breaks loose until it’s acknowledged. You thought by giving her ice cream or scolding her, she would settle down. But that’s only a temporary fix. She needs attention and understanding.

With all the times that happened to me, it became painfully clear that I was painfully unclear!

I’ve done the work, and there’s still stuff that comes up occasionally. The good news is that when she rears her ‘needy’ head, there are tools to deal with it pretty quickly. It’s not always easy, but with dedicating some time to it, you can turn it around and see what was happening and then shift it to attract a relationship that’s in line with who you are.