A snippet of my long journey from constantly feeling fear
to know I am blessed to serve.
My backstory: Since birth, I have had the gift of communicating with those who have passed. For several decades, it was an unpleasant reminder that I was different and that my childhood fears of monsters under the bed were well-founded.
For most of my childhood and into my early teens, I walked around scared because I felt the presence of shadow people. It took my father's death in 1986 to realize that I had still been talking to him as if he were here. That prompted me to explore what was happening to me.
But it wasn't until my early 40s that I discovered what my heart always knew. One of my hypnotherapy clients told me he knew I was a medium, and hearing that caused a massive anxiety attack. For the next few weeks, my chest ached, and I couldn't breathe properly. I refused to use the word 'medium' to describe myself.
A small psychic fair came to town, and I planned to go, which wasn't unusual as I was always fascinated with that type of show. On this day, I remember it like yesterday. I scanned the room, waiting for an energetic connection to get a reading. An older woman passed by, frantically looking around the room, not knowing what to do because the psychic she wanted to see was busy. I didn't understand why she was frantic, but as I brushed close to her, a message from her husband came in. I asked if she would like me to tell her, and when I did, the tears rolled down her eyes. She had a knowing that he was close and wasn't going to be able to stay.
I didn't know I was doing anything out of the ordinary.
I was still upset from the anxiousness I was experiencing, and I showed her little patience when I sat down with a medium. She was kind and just smiled at my intense energy. I asked her why I had been feeling so anxious for weeks. She smiled, glanced up from her tarot cards, and said,
"Because you're a medium, and it’s time to stop playing and take responsibility."
I immediately fell apart, sobbing, my whole body shaking. I had finally heard the truth. I immediately remembered at Lilydale in 1986, a medium telling me I would be doing this on stage one day. I didn't believe her for a minute.
Even with my breakdown with that medium that day, my mind still wouldn't accept it. Years later, I played with the idea but didn't accept its power – I was scared of the responsibility.
I returned and served as a guest medium at Lilydale, a place close to my heart and, unknowingly to me, the beginning of my journey. Twenty-five plus years later, I gladly serve Spirit with wisdom and integrity.
In 1994, I graduated college in Social Services, and since then, I have studied many disciplines and received multiple certificates, including certified hypnotherapist, studied the laws of the universe under Concept Therapy©, the Tao, and much more over the last 30+ years. I'm an advocate for women's abuse issues, having lived for years with mental, emotional, and physical abuse in my 20s and 30s.